you inspire me to be a worse person
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
