So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
