Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
