Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
