i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
