I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
