I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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