I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
