I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
