i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
