its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
