Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want you more than these girls want KFC
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
