just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
