I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
