Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
