dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
