You can't special order awesome
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
