Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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