I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I want her autograph on my taint
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
