you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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