I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
