i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And then he peed in my hair
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