So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
