Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
