i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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