tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You took a bar mat shot.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I will be naked everywhere
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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