the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
