Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Found your dick twin last night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
