What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
