I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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