After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
