Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
