the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
