Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
