Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
