An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can I color on your dick again?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
