I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
