Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
