Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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