I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
