matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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