so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
