haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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