porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
