I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
