He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
