Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
