I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
