I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
