yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
