I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
