Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
