Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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