you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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